Around our town, we have a problem with wildlife.  Some may think that on New Years Eve is a GREAT time to get involved with a little of the wild life.  Well that's not quite what I mean...   I mean animals that are not domesticated. My wife had a friend for breakfast.  I had to call the police because of the friend she let come for breakfast.  I told the police that they need to come and...   Take him down town or whatever it is they do with their prisoners. Before I get into that...  We'd get 'possums, armadillos, groundhogs, snakes, blue tailed skinks, and various and sundry birds such as the tufted titmouse, cardinal, chickadee, hummingbirds, blue buntings, blue jays, yellow finches, and so many others.  It's really a marvellous place to live. Our problem was none of those. OUR problem was the only animal in our area that likes life in black and white.  Yes, the lowly skunk. I'd best explain what I'm talking about...   On the morning of June 3, 2006, my wife (that poor little ADHD woman [Teresa] who lives here) took out some trash to be put into the can in the trash bin.  As usual, she opened the lid of the bin and, without looking, just chuncked the sack into the can.  Then she began to smell something...   When she came into the house, I thought I saw a greenish fog following her in the door.   ...and now that I think of it, she too was a little green in the face.  That fog was the odorous response from the highly irritated skunk upon whom my wife dropped her trash sack.  He was getting some breakfast and she plumb ruined his day. Then Spud said that he was going to throw the trash can away because of the odor, but I said that wasn't necessary, as we could get a can of cheap tomato juice and make sure that it gets all over the inside of the can.  That should take care of the odorous reminder of Teresa's brunch with her friend. Then I got the idea that we could keep about five gallons of tomato juice IN  the can all the time....   and about a foot deep.  That way when the skunk falls into the red pool of tomato juice, he'll be automatically deodorized.  Then again, maybe not... Now I'm awaiting the arrival of the Cotter Police Chief.  I just hope he tail cuffs this thing.  I wonder if our home insurance will pay for a new trash can? Anyway, there's never a dull moment around here.  With a very ADHD wife, and boy...   Well, let's just say that living in this ADHD family is like herding cats on a flatbed truck. I suppose I must have some kind of a moral for this story.  Well, I don't have one.  But I DO have some good advise.  When you've gotten yourself into a big mess, never dump that trash of your life on someone else or you'll have a big stink like you wouldn't believe. You know...?  I think that WAS a moral for the story. But this isn't the only time this sort of thing has happened.  My wife had gone to drop some trash into the can last year.  Before she dropped it, she saw this skunk in the can.  No smell or anything. She told me about it and I didn't know just what to do with it.  So I asked our Pastor if he'd assist me in getting shed of it.  I don't know why, but he flat refused me.  But he DID say I could borrow his truck.  Then before I could say thanks, he added, "But don't let him in the front seat." Well what kind of a person does he think I am.  I'd put him UNDER the seat... Naw, actually I'd do it this way: I got the truck and took it straight to the house, where I backed it into the driveway and mashed down on the emergency brake. I got the can, with the skunk inside, and put it in the bed of the truck.  Now here's where it gets interesting. I got into the truck and started it.  Then I reached for the brake release.  Nothing.  No handle.  The brake's still on.  Now what do I do. When I talked to the Pastor and explained the problem and he chuckled and said, "We don't use the parking brake.  I guess I should have told ya about that." Well, yeah!  That would be nice.  I looked under the dash to see what brake parts might have been left behind.   How nice, a piece of frayed wire cable.  What am I supposed to do with that? I got ahold of what little cable I could and pulled and the brake released.  WHEW!!  I was really relieved since I couldn't get my car out whilst the truck was in the drive. So we drive the canned skunk a mile and a half down the old road where there was a train underpass, and a ravine on the other side.  I backed the truck into what was left of an old road and got out. I took the can out of the truck and sat it next to the ravine where I tipped the can over so the skunk could get on his way...   but I didn't see him come out. I asked my grandson, James, to look in the can (from a distance) and see if he was ok.  When he looked, there was no skunk.  Quickly, I looked around my feet hoping he wasn't there...   he wasn't. When I looked closer, I saw a groundhog hole directly under the can.  Apparently he'd come out and ducked in there.  The only think that comes to mind now is, "Hey Maw!  Look Who's Coming To Dinner!" I wonder if our skunk friend evicted the groundhog?  No doubt...   No doubt at all! AEAMT Home Our Mission     Our Vision     Tenets of Faith From Us     The Pastor     Contact Us

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