Chapter Seven
Other Humorous Stories;  ...Some Even True

Step Back Kids;  I have Gas!


© 1994 / 2000-2003 JL Snurr, Sr.

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  • Before I could be accepted as a Correctional Officer in a State Correctional Facility, I had to go through 6 weeks of training.  In that training was weapons including tear gas and smoke grenades.  The gas, as serious as it would be to the inmates, was a rather humorous ordeal for we officers...   and then even more when I got home.

    During the training, we were instructed in the use of tear gas grenades that have the pin.  Also, we learned about the use and operation of the 38mm tear gas launcher.

    At the end of all the training in the use of gas, they wanted us to know what the inmates would experience if we ever had to use the stuff.  I DIDN'T  want to see what they were going to have us do...   but they had shown us anyway.

    The instructors, with BIG  grins on their faces, made us go to the other end of the weapons firing range.  Then they told us that they were going toss grenades and launch gas between them and us and we were to walk slowly through it so we know what it's like.  They said it's good to know what kind of trouble one's experiencing so we can empathize with their troubles.

    So they began setting off the gas and the guys began walking through it.  I thought to myself, "AIN'T NO WAY..."  I could see the gas fog was thick and the instructors couldn't see me very well so I took a deep breath and started walking rather quickly through it.  At one point I opened my eyes just a little bit to see if I was through it...  nope!  I continued on and opened them again.  I could see I was at the other side of the cloud because it was thinning out a bit.  I opened my eyes and continued out.

    My eyes watered a little bit but nothing else.  But SOME  of the other men were in horrible shape.  They were blubbering and bawling and noses running all over their faces.  A couple of them had "stringers" hanging down two feet from their noses.  Those of us who were a little more wise chuckled because of their slimy stringers.

    I thought it would be neat to have a grenade pin for the zipper on my service jacket.  Then I grabbed up a few empty grenade canisters...   and I took them home show the kids what they're like.

    Upon getting home, I thought it would be good to clean them so the kids don't get any of the irritant on them so I put them in a pot and filled it with water and boiled them.  After a few minutes, the kids came into the kitchen to see what the PoPs was doing.  I told them to stay back for now.

    After a bit my eyes started watering and the kids were right behind me crying.  I told them to get back again and I'd bring these to them to show them.  They didn't...   and finally we all had tears and were all sniffling.

    Oh, NOW  I realize what was happening.  The heat from the boiling water was making the gas irritants air born and it was getting into our eyes.  Quickly, I removed it all from the heat and put them under cold water to rinse them off.

    Not only did I gas myself better than the instructors, but I gassed my kids too.



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