In the 1980's I had worked in a State Prison Facility where one would think work would be harsh, exhausting, and of course...   serious in performing the duties of a Correctional Officer.  However, though serious was indeed a part of working in a jail, it was the humor that was the most pertinent since it helped us keep our sanity. Humor was quite important when you are working the 12-8am shift and you have no one nearby to talk to.  Therefore, during this time of drastic humorous attempts to keep sane, we discovered that water would play a very integral part of our battle for maintaining our wits. When I'd begun working at the prison, we had worn old tan uniforms made of cotton.  This was not good when water is important to Correctional officers.  Why?  Tan cotton holds water and shows it clearly.   Why is this so important?  Because when you're out of your office doing some insignificant duty such as checking to see if each inmate is sleeping, someone is bound to enter the office and put water in your plastic chair. Yes, they're the plastic chairs that are conveniently hollowed in the seat where water will puddle IF water is poured there.  So now when you return to the office and sit in the chair to write a report, or do some other paperwork, you will get wet britches.  No matter when during the night you sit in the chair wetting your britches, they will STILL be wet when you hustle your inmates into the rec halls and on into the dining room for chow (breakfast).  Of course, you won't get a moment's peace when the inmates see your wet spot. How embarrassing!!  I was glad when I received my dark blue nylon uniform...   because, wet or not, it didn't show water...   and when it DID get wet, it would be dry within minutes.  Whew! On a slightly different soggy reflection, I was working on the upper tiers with my partner.  At this time, the maintenance crew was busy, during the day, installing the water lines for the new fire system. Now personally I think this is a little odd.  Consider this.  The building is stone concrete and steel.  The mattresses and pillows in the cells are fire retardent and our desks and all lockers are metal.  What is here that will burn? But that's ok...   just in case a report or roll of toilet paper catches on fire, we need this million dollar water system to put it out with water flowing at about 1000 gallons per minute. So back to the installation of this system.  The pipes came from the lower office up through the concrete floor into our office where it stopped and was not capped.  In fact it was hanging loose in the hole because it would wobble, not being attached. All night, the officers in the office below were deliberately banging on the steel pipe every chance they had.  It was about every 15 minutes and the banging racket would begin.  At least they can't say I slept that night. As my partner and I were taking count of the inmates (to ensure that all were still there), I told my partner that if they banged on that pipe one more time, I was going to pour water down the tube and hopefully get someone wet.  Upon calling in our count, I filled up a plastic gallon jug with water and I sat down at my desk to await our 8-4 relief officers. At 7:30, I start hearing the loud banging again.  "THIS IS ENOUGH!!!"  I thought and I grabbed the jug of water and quickly dumped it down the 6 inch pipe. HEY!!!" came a voice from below. My partner and I chuckled because we finally got them.  Then I hear keys opening the lower stair grill, then angry steps coming heavily up the stairwell and key's opening the upper stair grill.  "Apparently someone's not happy," I whispered to my partner. Then suddenly in the office door stood a maintenance man....    water dripping from his hair, glasses hanging precariously from his nose and ears...   the collar of his shirt was soggy.  It was everything I could do to keep from bursting loudly into laughter. He looked at us, then to the pipe which protruded through the floor and then back to us and angrily asked, "Where'd that water come from?!?"  Then looking at the pipe again, he says, "Why, that pipe isn't even connected!" As seriously as I could, I answered, "Water, Sir?  What water?"   Then he turned and stomped back down the stairs in a huff.  I knew I was in trouble now...   he shift commander just didn't appreciate my Christian attitude.  Of course...   maybe this wasn't the epitome of a Christian attitude? Early the next night, I show up at Roll Call.  After the day's information was expressed and the officers released to go to their posts, the shift commander calls me into his office. I knew I was looking at the end of my job.  LOL   Was I to be flushed down the drain to the employment office like this?  'Woe is me' I humorously thought... As I closed the Commander's office door, I hear the words, "Snurr?  I want to know what happened this morning with the water!" I thought, 'It worked with the maintenance man so maybe here too,' and in a feeble attempt to look serious, I ask, "Water, Sir?  What water?" He snaps, "Come on Snurr!  You know what water!" Well, there went my alibi...   whatever it might have been.  So I explained the story of the pipe banging all night and that it so disrupted and distracted us in our work and concentration. He then, to my surprise, started laughing and said that the maintenance man was looking up the pipe when the water was coming down.  "You washed his glasses right of his face!" he exclaimed...   and then I just HAD to chuckle whilst apologizing. Then still chuckling, he says, "Snurr, just get to work...   and be sure you KNOW who you're throwing water on next time."  And indeed I did. So was there ever a time you wished you could get one on your supervisor?   Of course you did...   or at least you'd like to watch him get it, right? I was working on D-1 Tier on the first floor on the north side one day.  It was a good tier and rather uneventful...   until... I was coming off the tier and I locked the tier grill and stepped down the three steps to the corridor when suddenly I see the strangest thing.   What appeared like a brown paper lunch sack fell past me from above.   Knowing that God wouldn't do such a thing, I knew it was the officers on the second floor that were up to something. The 'sack' soared past me down the stairwell, just in front of me, and on to the annexes.  I heard it hit and it sounded soggy.  I just figured that someone was playing a water game on someone else. Then I hear someone coming up the stairs.  Sure enough it was the Annex Sergeant.  His head and shoulders were dripping wet and I thought to myself that he forgot his shampoo...   of course I wasn't going to tell HIM that. I was only a corporal.  When he asked if I threw that down, what could I say?  I innocently said, "No, Sergeant...   not me.  I was just coming off the tier and I saw an unidentified flying object zoom past me.  Why?  Did it hit you?" He looked at me like I'd lost my mind.  I was just trying to be a help...   wasn't I?  Certainly not!!  After the sergeant had gone back down the stairwell, I called upstairs and explained what I saw, as humorous as it was, and offered my congratulations to them.  They had hit their target dead center. Then another time whilst I was working H-1 tier on the south side it was the midnight shift and very uneventful since there was a sergeant posted right next to my office and I couldn't get into any trouble. Let me remind you that water had always been a problem in one way or another. It started with a styrofoam cup 1/3 full of water.  When dropped down a stairwell, it sounded like a handgun going off.  Then when that didn't cause any more of a stir, they started taking the plastic, one gallon, jugs that mayonnaise for the kitchen came in.  Remember the pipe?  Same kind of plastic jugs.  The jug would be turned a few inches off center and when it would hit the bottom, the weight of the water and the tilt of the jug would cause the water to be thrown with force toward the annex officer sitting about 6 feet from the bottom of the stairwell.  If done right, the officer would get wet. Such fun, right? Well, one night I had just completed a cell check and was just coming off H-1 tier.  I locked the stair grill and stepped down from the tier when suddenly I was a loud, near deafening, crash.  I rushed to the H-1 stairwell grill and unlocked it and looked down the stairwell where I was sure to find something drastically amiss...   but nothing.  I was sure that the crash came from here.  Well, nothing was wrong, so I let it go. Later, as I was in G-1 stairwell to allow the annex inmates up for chow.   I opened the grill and stepped in to look down the stairwell to check with the annex officer to see if the inmates were ready. At the bottom, there lay a 55 gallon barrel like the ones used at each tier stair well grill for trash.  There were puddles of water all over.  Gracious," I thought, "I was thought Noah's great flood happened about 6,000 years ago."  Then when Officer *Tom* looked up, I knew WHY a barrel and water was at the bottom.  Tom was a good fellow though somewhat overweight.  Though he was very good-natured, he was always on the wrong end of the jokes.  Apparently, someone decided it was time to REALLY get him. The next night I was talking to Tom.  I asked him who he had made angry.  He explained what he knew.  He said he wasn't aware of making anyone angry, but some fellow officers just saw Tom as an easy laugh...   and this time it was the epitome of laughter and even Tom got a chuckle from it. He said he was at his desk, back to stairwell.  He was leaning back a tad in his chair and his feet propped up on his desk.  He sat directly between the stairwell and the tier grill. He explained, "I was sitting there nearly snoozing, and suddenly I heard an explosion, and then everything on my desk washed off into the annex." * Names changed to protect the embarrassed